Using My "Adult Discipline"

    

     Last year, while I was signing up for my classes for my current semester, I signed up for Spanish 102. It is the second part of the intro course to Spanish, and I was pretty psyched to continue learning a language that I could actually use (as opposed to Latin, which is really cool, but unless I learn how to time travel, rather useless). The first day of class, was met with utter disappointment. My teacher looked to be only a few years older than me, was clearly not a native speaker, and didn't even have a copy of his own syllabus. He might have also been high, but that one is up for debate.
     I decided to give him a chance, and stayed in the class for about two weeks, by which point I could not take the pain anymore, the pain being watching Will Ferrel's "In the House of my Father" with English subtitles. So I switched to a class with a teacher I had heard good things about. Why the long prelude? My point is coming, I swear. The first day of this new class, I learned twice as much as I had in the several weeks of the old one, and it was such a sigh of relief for my developing Spanish-brain. Perhaps the most important piece I remember learning that day, is when we had to write down a whole list of vocab words to be tested on next class. They were all obscure words that we as a class thought would be good to have in our vocabulary. Anyway, he was explaining to everyone, that in language, the general philosophy is if you are constantly bombarded with all of these words and phrases, some of them will sink in, eventually. He then told us, while that is fine and dandy, a more efficient way of learning this vocab, is to sit down, use our "adult discipline" and learn it.
     For some reason, this really struck a chord with me. No one, at least not for a very long time, has told me to just sit down, use some discipline and just get my work done. It is usually more along the lines of "well of course you'll do it, you always end up doing it" and while this is true, it really doesn't motivate me, or help me in any way, because usually just "getting things done" translates to staying up until all hours of the night trying to not fail, but not necessarily get 100 percent out of it.
     It struck me as of late, that not failing, is really quite different than thoroughly succeeding, and actually learning deeply from my studies. This may seem obvious to most everyone, but to me it was a different way of looking at what I am learning in school, and how I am learning it. Until recently, my philosophy had been to get the work done in a way that gets me a good grade (A-B range) with the absolute minimal effort put in. It was an exaggerated efficiency system, designed to work by producing an acceptable result with the lowest possible input, and while I thought it seemed like a good idea, I am really disappointed in it.
     I kept finding myself looking at a grade, that was just shy of what I wanted, and thinking, "well that isn't bad for only studying for 15 minutes." Sure, it's not bad based on that frame, but imagine what I could achieve if I had actually put my best effort in? I don't know where in my life I lost this will to not simply avoid failing, but to pursue excellence, but I want it back. I miss those 100 percents, I miss that conquering feeling you get when you put in your all and you achieve marvelous results. I miss actually learning my material, not simply cramming it in for the singular purpose of an exam. So, in the spirit of this blog, where I am trying to stop dreaming about my "adult life" and actually try and live it day to day, I am invoking my "adult discipline."I know it probably doesn't have much strength right now, but I think if I work on it little by little, day to day, it will soon become a force to be reckoned with. How's your "adult discipline"?
xoxo

P.S. Still going strong with my morning yoga. 
Currently Listening To: Booty Swing by Parov Stelar